dear laurel...

ok so the other day (this isn't one of jay's "the other days" that was really three and a half months ago. it was like yesterday or the day before or something), so yeah, the other day i was chattin it up online with both skye and mollie (both of whom were at work at their "grown-up jobs" where they just seem to get to chat online all day) and skye starting telling me about s problem she was having and i was coming up with the raddest answers. i could have been some high-paid psycho-analyst or therapist or something, i was doing that good.

so i'm opening up shop - just like lucy (hey, does she have a last name?) - so step right up and spill your beans.

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Yes, it's Lucy Van Pelt. She and Linus are sister and brother. Yay Peanuts.

Dear Laurel,

Lately I've been feeling a little socially awkward. My friends and I used to make fun of those people who were just a little off, but it didn't dawn on me until recently that maybe I'm one of them. How do you know if people think you're "a little off"?

-Insecure
Los Angeles

Dear Insecure,

Hmmm... this is hard to do without sounding like one of those cheesy girl magazines we all used to read in high shcool (or, depending on who you lived with in college, the ones that flooded the livingroom coffee table), but here goes anyways:

In my experience, the only people I know who don't occassionally feel "socially awkward" ARE the ones who actually are "a little off." They're so off, in fact, that they don't even realize it and thus have the freedom to say and do whatever they please, regardless of how ridiculous they seem to the rest of us. Frankly, I'm jealous. Sometimes I long to be oblivious, so I can stop worrying about being silly and ridiculous. But, if I were oblivious, I wouldn't be able to recognize and laugh at the other ridiculous people (like you and your friends do), and what fun would that be?

The real questsion to ask is - who cares? It's alright to be "a little off" sometimes, or all of the time. And when you're lucky enough to have found a group of friends that have a similar offness, you can, as a group, laugh and make fun of other people and their offnesses. Remember that laughing at other people (or people laughing at you) isn't necessarily mean - their just MAKING FUN - and we all want to have fun, right?

That reminds me of this movie I showed at my childcare yesterday. This week, we've been pretending each day is a different season and yesterday was our New Years Eve party, and anyway, we watched some movie where Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer helps save Happy the New Years Baby. See, poor Happy has these gigantic ears (even Dopey and Dumbo would be impressed) that people just couldn't help laughing at. Feeling really sad and embarassed, Happy runs away, but New Years can't happen without him. So Santa calls on Rudolph to save the day yet again, and Rudolph, with his nose so bright, knows just how Happy feels. When Rudolph finally catches up with Happy, he, being a bit modest, lets the trees sing his theme song to tell Happy his story, then convinces Happy that people laugh at him all in good fun. Happy learns to embrace his offness, you see, and everyone lives happily ever after in a warm fuzzy claymation wonderland.

So the moral is: be happy like Happy and find ways to love your offness.

Or, you could use the less warm&fuzzy ol standy cure for insecurity: get really drunk and do lots of drugs and find yourself in a nice happy world of oblivion.

Wow, Lurrel. You really should be a high-paid psychoanalyst or therapist or SOMETHING (btw, can we have italics next time?)! Maybe you should have been going to my classes and then I could have read all sorts of lovely papers and magazines when I only had class twice a week. Yes, yes. I do believe that would have been good. Keep up the good work.

Oh. I should give you a problem to solve. Hmmm... I have roughly a year (perhaps less, depending on what I decide) to decide what to do with my life.. at least for a few years. I would like to do something meaningful, in order to feel as if I am contributing to the world, but I'd also like to enjoy what I'm doing, possibly have fun and travel a bit. Oh, yeah. And I'd like to make enough money to pay my bills, have my own place to live, and do that bit of traveling; affording clothes and food is optional. Thank you.

Dear April,

Thanks for the words of praise. I know, I am amazing. Ok, so about your problem... deciding what to do with one's life isn't a one time decision. We luck out, being able to constantly shift and change goals and directions and all that junk. AND, even if you think you maybe want to do XX later in life, you can always do YY in the meantime, you know? I think that's probably what you're looking for anyway (the YY), but just in case, I thought I'd throw that little bit in. So, something meaningful, something fun, something involving traveling... I can't help but think of the Peace Corps. Have you looked into that at all? Or what about some sort of Rotary scholarship? I have two friends who have gone the Rotary route... one to Ghana and one to Figi... seems like a pretty sweet deal. Another cool option is looking into teaching English abroad. It seems they're always looking for people in Asian countries, and others for sure too.

If those options are bit too meaningful for you, I can think of a couple other ideas to look into. You could always look into working on a cruise ship, which is supposed to be a way fun and interesting way to travel around and meet people. Or, there are some sweet deals where you drive across country selling posters at college campuses - I'm not joking, you make good money from what I hear, driving from like Pennsylvania to California and back or something, selling junk and getting put up in nice hotels at night. Sounds pretty sweet to me, though it wouldn't necessarily involve much international travelling. You could also always consider doing a Au Pair thing in another country too.

I've considered doing all of the following at some point as well. None seemed to be a perfect fit for me, but perhaps you will find your next adventure hidden here among my babble. Whatever you do, remember you're never stuck, there are always more options and there's always adventure to be found in whatever you're doing.

GOOD LUCK!

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